Why stay with the devil?

18 Nov, 2016 - 00:11 0 Views
Why stay with the devil? bible

The ManicaPost

MARRIAGE DOCTOR —
Why do we stay in situation even to death, either death emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically? It is because it is predictable and it is familiar.

You have the saying “better the devil you know, than the one you don’t.” Human beings are built for stability, we are comfortable in our ‘’familiarity’’ negative or positive. Another thing is that you do not know how bad your situation is until you get out and find out that what you are going through is not normal.

For example, I had a good friend whose parents shouted at each other every day, and every weekend. After the dad would return from drinking her parents would fight physically.

To her this was normal in every family (even though it frightened here) and she accepted it as that. In fact quite a few families of kids in our school were built on violence, addictions, abuse etc., so to many this was the way things were.

As she got older and started to sleep over at other kids houses where there was no fighting or abuse, she got confused.

And even though she loved living with her friends in a peaceful, respectful environment, eventually she dated and then married a man who resembled her father’s negatives traits. Now she too lives a life of abuse and fighting.

She is just one of hundreds or thousands of people living in abusive situations and not moving. If you ask them how this happened, she can’t explain. But I can! Human beings will mostly tend towards the familiar regardless of how uncomfortable it is.

Her sister on the other hand, left the country and went to live abroad, this opened her eyes to a different world view, different experience, different emotions, which replaced the comfort in her being.

Hence forth the sister is married to a quiet man, who does not have an abusive bone in his body and she is extremely happy. What happened there? Well to change your situation you need to erase the option of ever going back to that place.

You have to build a new ‘familiar’, new ‘memories’ in your sub-conscious mind, a new ‘comfortable.’

We tend to go back to our subconscious mind whenever we are in a new situation. So if there is an option to return to the picture in our sub conscious mind, we will, and we will convince ourselves it is who we are and what we deserve.

So for instance my friend grew up around violence, so that situation sat in her subconscious.
Even after she experienced a different life from her friends, her subconscious will tell her this is not for her and she will never be happy there.

So subconsciously she returns to what she knows is hers, because it is familiar. But her sister on the other hand left the whole scene behind her.

She left the home, left the community, left the town, the country and the familiar. By doing so, she had nothing familiar to hold on too or draw her back to the abusive situation.

So her subconscious mind filled itself with new memories, new familiar. Three years later this girls familiar and comfort zone, was not what she grew up in.

Even when she returned home, she did not feel comfortable with the fighting and shouting and so she left again marrying the opposite type of man, filling her life with a new type of comfort for herself.

Now you might think this is crazy, but I watched a video the other day where a female tennis player whose hair was bothering her, sat on the court during their match and cut the pony tail off because it was disturbing her.

This resulted in her winning the match. Now I know this is not the same as a relationship issue, but the point is the same.

This girl had never cut her hair and had no problem having her long pony tail all her life (familiar).

But when she got to taste success and realised that what was keeping her from winning, was her ‘normal, familiar heavy long pony tail,’ she immediately separated herself from what was dragging her down, keeping her from being a winner…her pony tail.

Yes she cut it, on courtside and quietly went back on court and won the match. She got my attention, firstly negatively, because I was like ‘yo girl that is like some kind of crazy right there…she’s loosing her mind, she’s in denial.’ But when she won, I was like ‘you go girl, I knew you could do it, oh yeah oh yeah!’

That’s it from me this week folks, until next week God Bless!

The Marriage Doctor can messaged / whatsapped on 0772 933 845.

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