Waiting for exam results costly for your mental health

25 Nov, 2016 - 00:11 0 Views
Waiting for exam results costly for your mental health

The ManicaPost

Dr Mazvita Machinga
“I FAILED in some subjects in the exam, but my friend passed in all subjects.

Now he is an Engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft,” said Bill Gates.

I am sure you can figure out what this statement means. Indeed no-one writes an exam to fail. We all need to pass.

We need our children to pass. Waiting for exam results can be quite taxing emotionally and psychologically. This is the time of the year when some students stay at home as they will be waiting for their examination results.

Grade Seven, Form Four and Form Six students sit for their final exams in November and December.

During this time when students are waiting for results, mental health is just as important, if not MORE important, as our physical health.

The impact of waiting for test results on students’ anxiety can be quite significant. Social scientists have discovered that there is a significant link between waiting for exam results and mental health related issues.

During the waiting time, students may experience elevated levels of anxiety, stress, nervousness and boredom. This is a time when students and parents can have exam result anxiety. When results come out there may be excitement, frustration, disappointment, alienation and depression. All these can have serious negative impact on students if they do not get care and guidance.

Self-esteem can be compromised during such times, leading to anxiety and self-doubt.

Feelings of “helplessness” can arise when results come and these can lead to depression. If no guidance and care are provided, failure or too much worry about what will happen can be psychologically and emotionally destructive. So, how can we assist our children during this waiting period? That is the question that has driven me to write this article.

As parents we need to understand that children can be very anxious days before and after receiving exam results. One of the behaviours that go along with anxiety is rumination—the tendency to think repeatedly worry about the outcome.

The more anxiety people experience, the more they tend to ruminate. Students feel pressure to get good results to achieve their career dreams, pressure from parents and family who expect you to get good results.

Students may feel overwhelmed by changes such as the thought of leaving home, starting a new life, with new friends at a new school. It is important to check with our child how he/she is feeling during the waiting times. Parents should also assure students that such feelings are normal.

There are ways to cope and positive things you can do to ease the situation.

What can you do about it?

What can we do about it? How best can we prepare our children so that they are protected from negative impact of exam results anxiety so that they do not delve into depression or experience suicidal tendencies?

For those who have completed Form Four and Six, they need to be helped to remember that if they don’t get the results they want; there are other options to get to where they want to go.

They need to be helped to take the time now to research and think about a ‘Plan B’ in case they don’t get their first choice. Children need to be encouraged to take a look at the different study options or opportunities that could get them to their chosen career via an alternative route.

As a waiting student you should know that your parents and family only want to see you get the best and get what will make you happy. Don’t for a second worry about letting them down, they are proud of you no matter what. It is a time where you will now can make many tough and stimulating choices.

Before and after receiving exam results, encourage your child to talk to someone they trust.

Help them confront the problem and learn how to relax and keep moving. It is really important not to let anxiety take over your child’s life.

Remember, if your child fails an exam, they are not a failure –he/she is still a good person, just a good, beloved person who failed an exam. Usually exam failure only means one has to repeat, so there’s a delay of plans, which is not the end of the world. Or it may lead to you changing your plans to get to where you want to go by following a different path.Sometimes it may mean changing completely the trajectory of your career path.

These are only the first steps of your career, nothing you do now will prevent you from changing direction at any time in the future. Remember you are not defined by an exam, or any one thing in your life.Your failing this exam does NOT mean your child is a lesser or useless person.

When your child gets their results, help them to stay calm, process the feelings and thought. Make sure they talk to someone they trust, pastor, relative, counselor or teacher.

Above all, always keep the communication channel between you and your child open. This will enable your children to talk about deep issues. I hope this helps those who are waiting for their exams. Above all, don’t give up on every hope and dream, and don’t be scared of tests and exams yet to come. Go get help if you need it. It is okay to seek help.

Dr Mazvita Machinga, a qualified psychotherapist based in Mutare. For more information and help, contact 0778 83 84 10 or 0771754519 or Email:[email protected]

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