The ManicaPost
Arthur Marara: Motivationfor Sucess
No one wants to be cheated in a marriage or in a relationship, but we find ourselves being cheated, no one wants to be defrauded in their business, but frauds still do happen, no one wants their business idea stolen, but ideas are being stolen.
I do not know what you have been through this year, or even today, but what I am sure of is that you might have experienced some offences or disappointment. We are approaching the year-end, you can choose to carry these offences into 2017, or you can choose to shed them off and enter the New Year differently. This week we shall share some thoughts on forgiveness.
It’s not always strangers who will hurt you It is often said that, “those you love the most will hurt you the most”. Very profound statement indeed when you look at reality. People who embezzle money from businesses are the people who are often trusted by the top management, people who cheat are those who even tell the ones they are cheating, “I love you”, people who lie even solicit the trust of the people they betray, people who are busy convening bogus disciplinary hearings and dismissals at workplaces are sometimes the very people you even looked up to for leadership and mentorship.
The very people you thought you could confide in are the same people who are busy leaking the very things they know are hurting you, and pretending to smile when they see you. It is not necessarily strangers who will hurt you. Such is life! Even the Psalter notes it, “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God . . . ” (Psalms 55:12-14). When you realise that disappointment is not far, you should make room for forgiveness in future.
It is naïve to think that everyone likes you, there are certain who will never like you regardless of the effort that you make to be likeable to them. You still have to learn to practice forgiveness. Jesus, the son of God was hated, and betrayed to execution by his own people yet he could still forgive them.
It is not easy to let go
It is not always easy to forgive other people because of what they would have done to us or to our loved ones but we need to condition ourselves to forgive. There are many people who are still holding on to the painful memories of what their boss; employee or spouse did to them.
It is understandable, but you need to come to a point whereby you have to ask yourself where bitterness is taking you. We need to learn to forgive, because it is through forgiveness that we are forgiven as well (Luke 6:37).
Bitterness is a product of unforgiveness and has the net effect of taking away your happiness.
Let someone in your heart go and take a deep smile at the relief you have created in your heart.
Happiness is a product of our ability to deal with offences as they come in our lives and in the lives of others. Despite the frustrations that might visit you, do not be tempted to hold anyone in your heart. Learn to release people from your heart.
The past can never be changed
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” (Paul Boose). So true are the remarks by Paul Boose, the past cannot be changed, and that is why is it called the past because it is gone. What was done cannot be changed, but we can choose to take hold of our future and move on.
The fact that you were cheated in a business deal or in a marriage cannot be changed, but you can choose to pick yourself and continue with your life. Do not focus on what you cannot change, focus on the things you can change. What was supposed to bring you down, can be turned around and be a source of hope and inspiration.
Do yourself a favour; forgive
Do not penalise yourself for the indiscretions of other people. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that it will kill the other person. Unforgiveness is like acid that has been placed in a container.
The container is the person and the acid represents the grievance. It is the container that suffers from corrosion. The person who puts it in does not suffer at all. Unforgiveness affects negatively the person who is unforgiving.
If you do not forgive, you will affect yourself and not the person against whom you have a grievance.
Let go of other people, and liberate yourself in the process. Forgiveness is for your own good. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you” (Lewis B Smedes). You need to let go of the offences. It is for your good that you forgive other people. You change nothing by being unforgiving.
Time for introspection
“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” (Lewis B. Smedes). Everything happens for a purpose, and sometimes our appointments are wrapped in the disappointments we face in life.
Sometimes you are disappointed in life for you to realise who to work with and who not with in the future, who to trust and who not to trust in the future, and sometimes this allows us to realise the need for us to explore new opportunities.
The story of Ross Perot
You might not know much about Ross Perot, but a seeming disappointment to him later on turned to be billions of dollars. Ross Perot was once employed by IBM, and it was during this time he realised that his customers who were purchasing the IBM machines were in need of help in processing their data. He took the idea to his company and was flatly declined.
We all know what happens when you are so confident about something, and you get down. It is easy or possible to be frustrated in such instances. He however, refused to settle on the disappointment and established his own business to meet this very demand whose suggestion was declined; he eventually sold the business for $2,8 billion dollars.
Keep the smile
Instead of focusing on moments that brought you sorrows, focus on those that brought you greater joy. Life brings a lot; it is the ultimate power of choice that we have that defines what your life becomes.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.
It is only strong people who can forgive. Show your strength by forgiving people who hurt you. Indian Statesman Mahatma Gandhi put this in an interesting way, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Till we meet next time, remember you are great, and let your greatness shine and impact the lives of people around you.
Join me on Star FM every first Wednesday of every month (09:30am-10:00am) for some moments of inspiration on the Breeze with Tariro and Iyati.
Arthur Marara is an Attorney, Author and Speaker. He is also the author of the Personal Development Toolkit, Keys to Financial Freedom, The Power Within, and Keys to Effective Time Management. Send your feedback to [email protected] or Like his page on Facebook, or Whatsapp: +263 772 467 255
