The ManicaPost
HOW hard it is to be a man in this day and age especially the pressure society puts on men to be real fathers and husbands.
How are men supposed to be husbands/fathers when they are raised solely by single mothers, because the men who impregnated the women refused to take responsibility for their business of making kids?
Or how can men know how to be husbands when many of today’s husbands are absent, or the fathers that are around also do not know how to be fathers? How hard it is for men nowadays to treat their wives like wives when all they know is how to treat women like mothers or mistresses because mom treats them like little boys and their mistresses treat them like gods.
Who is taking time out these days to teach men how to be men; real men? And who is teaching men to be husbands?
We have men doing well operating as sperm donors these days 10 out of 10. They plant their sperm in every woman who is willing to open her legs.
The result nine months later is another human being who is a duplicate of the man who freely donated the sperm. And like all sperm donors, the man disappears, not prepared to commit to being either a father or a husband.
So what do we have now? We now have a city full of households being run by single mothers which means we will again have a fatherless generation.
CONFUSED! I understand. I opened my article by saying ‘men handle your business, because you can?’ But I am not talking about ‘business’, I am talking about the business of being a responsible man, husband and father.
The only time a man is not required to be a father, is in the animal kingdom, and specifically the big cat family. The head male or head of the pack, in the animal kingdom, spend time mating (have sex), killing (prey and other males babies), fighting off other males and sleeping (up to 20 hours Lions).
The females handle everything, from hunting, nurturing, raising the young, protecting, feeding and so forth.
Men! Have you therefore reduced our human race to the level of the animal kingdom? If you are failing to handle your sexual business, then what?
Do you realise men that you are the last level a teenager needs before they become young adults? Your presence or lack of presence can make them exceptional human beings or make them a menace to society.
The presence of a father in these kids’ lives at a certain age (nine years to 14 years) is crucial. Your presence in the life of their mother is just as important.
While you are out there making it your business to produce more babies all over the city, the kids you have already made are desperate for your attention. Who is handling your business?
Men your ability to have children does not mean you are now a man. What makes a man is when you handle your responsibilities. Things are so bad that we now have concrete laws being pushed in our country to deal with men who refuse to look after their kids.
What I just cannot understand is when a man continues to have other kids, yet he is failing to look after the first ones. What angers me now, is then to ensure he does not pay maintenance, he tells the magistrate that his salary is low, or that he has no income.
What Mr Man are you doing spreading your sperm all over the place when you know financially you cannot afford to pay for the production of that sperm? How cold and uncaring are you, to be okay with watching your own flesh and blood grow up struggling, simply because you are selfishly pursuing other business (sexual desires) ventures.
Then there are those men who bribe the law enforcement officers to avoid being prosecuted for not paying maintenance. Hey wena! How can any reasonable thinking person do that?
Surely common sense tells you that the money you are using to pay the bribe could be used to pay the maintenance? But then again how sensible is someone who continues to have kids with different women, when they know they cannot maintain or commit to them? Hameno! Am I angry? No! Why would I be?
Why would I be angry that while I am writing this article there are two people having sex outside of any commitment and for one it is simply relieving an urge, but for the other it is love.
Why would I be angry that as soon as the sex is no longer satisfying the man will just move on, not caring about the situation he is leaving behind. Why should I be angry that in nine months there will be a beautiful innocent baby being born and only one person will be there to greet it – the mother?
Why should I be angry that for the rest of the child’s life, all she /he will know of his/her dad is the angry description of him the mother will give? Why should I be angry when every time the child sees its father, the father will be telling the child that he is not their father?
Why should I be angry that when the child goes to school, he/she will be looked down upon because there is no father present in their home or lives? Why would I be angry that every month the mother has to beg the father to help with school fees, food, clothes, medical bills etc for the child, when in fact providing these things should be natural for him to do?
Why should I be angry that every second woman with kids is running the household on her own? Why should I be angry that by the time the child becomes a teenager they have found an alternative to their absentee father such as drugs, alcohol, sex or other self abusive behaviour.
No, I am not angry. I am simply asking men in this city, country to start being men and start handling their business. Simply said – grow up, commit and take responsibility for the mess you are causing.
Can we reduce the carnage of the next fatherless generation (unless through an act of God or natural disaster.
Enough said, let he who has ears hear! Until next week, God Bless!
The Marriage Doctor can messaged or WhatsApped on 0733 285 730.
