The ManicaPost
Tete Barbara From My Heart
Dear Tete
I had been dating this girl for two years, but last year she relocated to South Africa where her parents are now based. We did the long distance thing for a few months, but broke up in December when I visited. It has been four months since the breakup, and I am still not over her.
We stayed in touch when I first returned to Zimbabwe, but she wanted some space and we haven’t spoken since. I want to visit her next month to try and reconnect, but I don’t know if she feels the same way. What should I do? Should I just move on? Do you think we can still work things out?
Tete Responds:
There is nothing like heartbreak. It can be overwhelming to imagine so much physical pain without a physiological reason why . . . It is agony. And I’m sorry you are in it.
In reality, the best thing to do would be to try to move on. But the fact is, sometimes we need a little more before we are ready to let something go.
There is a delicate balance to asking an ex for more—whether it is more information, more attention, more love . . . It is hard to do without coming off as pathetic or overwhelming to her. And yet if there is a suspicion that she may feel the same way, it is worth it.
Make a plan to call her when you are going. See a great movie with friends and then call her when you are happy. Visiting her may not be the best thing to do considering that she has been asking for space. However, if you feel it is worth it then go for it.
All the best
