The ManicaPost
Dr Mazvita Machinga
DECISION making is something that you and me do every day. In any particular day you and I are exposed to situations where we have to make decisions.
This may be determining what best way forward, selecting from a list of alternatives, or going through a disagreement at work or home.
In my psychotherapy rooms, I meet people who have to make decisions that really matter in life. It is important to understand that decision making is a very personal business. Decision making is all about a person assessing what’s valuable to oneself.
As stated by an old proverb, value is in the eye of the beholder, the decision maker. When making decisions, be it at work or home, they are many hidden traps and potential roadblocks you need to be aware of. I will talk about these in the next article.
I am sure you know of families that have broken, lives that have been lost, children that have suffered, relationships that have been hurt, communities that have been destroyed and even countries that have suffered because of poor decision making. This article will focus on an important factor when it comes to decision making — the role of emotions.
Before I talk about emotions’ in decision making, what are emotions first of all? No one answer, but emotions are a gift from God. Emotions are strong, positive or negative, feelings that influence thinking and behaviour. Examples are feelings of jealousy, fear, love, joy, or hopelessness. Emotions are thoughts and perceptions that accompany feelings and physiological changes. They are neither good nor bad. It is what you do with the emotions that matters.
It is important to know that we make most decisions based on emotions. For example, unmanaged anger can take control of people and cause them to make poor decisions. Even the rational parts depend on our mood, no matter how smart we are.
People, including scientists, often search for information that confirms their own beliefs and emotions. Thus, one needs to learn emotional regulation. However, even though emotions are key in decision making, they are times when you need your rational side. For instance, organizationally or for policy, to explain or justify a decision. This means that there is need to balance the effects of emotion vs. rationality.
The best way to do this is to do self-examination, be aware of your emotions before making a decision. Ask yourself: “Why do I feel this way?” Remember, the way humans work is that your thinking brain, does whatever you programme it to do and the way you think affect the way you feel and act.
This is confirmed by George Kozmetsky, an educator and business person, who cautions us all by saying: “Before you implement a decision, check whether your brain and your gut/belly agree. If they don’t, find out why. Change the decision if necessary until the two agree.” There is need to do business with meeting of mind and meeting of the heart.
Here are practical, insights to help you make the best possible decisions to improve your life.
1. Before implementing, revisit a decision on another time or day, to correct for mood/emotional changes. You can choose how you want to behave then.
2. You can have control over emotions, all you need to do is to stop and be mindful before deciding
3. No decision outcome can be better than the best alternative. So having a good amount of alternatives to explore and choose from is essential for making great decisions. If you’re having a hard time deciding, it doesn’t mean you’re a poor decision maker, you need someone you trust or a professional counselor to talk to.
4. Making great decisions is a process that involves many unique and diametrically-opposite “thinking modes” so take your time and seek counsel where need be.
5. Keep your disruptive emotions and impulses in check, count one to ten, it clears your mind.
6. Be sensitive to others’ feelings and perspectives.
7. If need be get psychotherapy since childhood experiences can cause emotions out of proportion to a current situation and you end up making deadly decisions. Remember, unconscious childhood memories can bring out emotions. So getting help to process painful past and childhood helps balance emotions when making decisions.
Dr Mazvita Machinga Ph.D. is a trained and qualified Psychotherapist in Mutare who offers professional counselling and psychotherapy. Contact her at [email protected], or 0771 754 519.
