The ManicaPost
WE have just finished the month we call the “Love month”, but that does not mean the end of love. No on the contrary! February should be the month that reminds us that we are in love and that we need to maintain the love for the relationship to survive the long haul.
So whether you have been married for a while or just got married, there are things you need to keep doing if you want your relationship to survive. Don’t allow the spark to fizzle out. Keep that romance alive! There are so many ways you can keep your romance alive, here are some of them:
Date your spouse. Take a night away from the kids, the chores, or the other stresses of life and just have fun! Think of what you enjoyed doing before you had all your “grown-up” responsibilities and do that.
Make your spouse feel special. Do something that you know they enjoy without having to be asked. Serve them breakfast in bed. Make their favourite meal. Or just leave them a note telling them what you love about them.
Learn their love language, and then use it every day. Everyone has their own personal way of experiencing love and affection, which is what we call “Love Language”. The languages are categorised as; Touch, Time, Gifts, Service and Words of Affirmation. I will in the next month or so be writing about these languages in detail for those who missed it last year. Find out the one that fits your spouse, so your attentions will not go unnoticed. Try to do one thing in their love language daily.
Say “I love you” often. Don’t assume the other person knows how you feel. Everyone wants to know that their spouse loves them and the best way is to tell them! Say I Love you as often as you can.
Write Notes. There is such a thing as a “Post it” pad. Get one from any stationery shop. They are brilliant for writing short notes to your loved one. You can write anything on there and stick it anywhere. Place in his pocket trousers before he puts it on. Stick a note in the toilet, bathroom, kitchen, bag, briefcase, car etc. Write something simple like “you are amazing,” “can’t wait for you to come back home,” “I miss you already,” “I am crazy about you.” Do you get it? Simple stuff, but romantic or sexy.
Laugh. I love the fact that guys can make their loved ones laugh so easily. Even a guy who claims not to be able to make jokes will somehow be able to make his woman laugh. I know a guy who has the worst jokes. They are so bad. But that is the thing….they are so bad, you end up laughing. So guys, go ahead and make a fool of yourself, women love a man who is not afraid to be foolish in front of her.
Be kind and polite. Thoughtfulness and consideration should be a priority in your marriage. Husbands, show your wife that chivalry is not dead. Open that door for her, or pull the chair out for her. Wives, show your husband that you admire him. Thank him for being such a great husband and dad, cook his favourite meal every now and again just the way his mama used to.
Take care of yourself. Just because you are married does not mean that you should stop trying to present yourself in the best light to your spouse. Be comfortable, but do not take your spouse for granted. It is always nice when your spouse gives you that extra special look. Smell nice, look good and make an effort. Remember, when people look at you, they judge your marriage from the way you look whether you like it or not. You represent your partner when you are out there, so be deliberate about the way you look in public and at home. I know we all have those torn clothes in our wardrobes, but there is no reason in the world why you should be wearing them, throw them away.
Spend uninterrupted time together. The amount of time you are willing to spend with someone shows if they are a priority. Life can get busy and you may not be able to spend as much time as you would like; but, the quality time versus quantity time debate is not valid when it comes to your relationships. Quantity matters, especially in your marriage and family. So make an effort to have at least one set night a week where you and your partner spend a few hours alone together, talking about nothing, but the two of you. The best is to go out, so that you are not disturbed by family, friends etc.
Romance is not hard folks. You did it when you were dating, so it is within you. It does not always cost money, but do not also be afraid to spend money, your partner whether male or female is worth it.
The Marriage Doctor can be messaged / WhatsApped on 0733285730.
