The ManicaPost
Ann Ruthenburg —
THE other day we were at a business meeting where the person leading the meeting distracted us in the wrong way. His manhood was pushing through his trousers abnormally. Yes, it is a true story, do not laugh.
There is nothing wrong with being well endowed as a man, just like there is nothing wrong with a woman having sizeable breasts, but the problem is when the owner of those assets fails to handle them in public and fails to show respect to others by ensuring their extended body parts are appropriately secured.
Now I cannot say for sure what the issue was with the man being extended so far out, but I suspect either he had the wrong underwear on or the wrong trousers.
So I am going to address both in this article to help those men out there who might be experiencing the same thing. Special Note: If the well endowed man did it on purpose just like some women expose their breasts on purpose — Bad bad man, we were not there to admire your sexual body part, we were there to hear your presentation.
Unfortunately we missed the presentation and you lost the business. No matter what excuse we make as human beings, the truth is exposing certain body parts unnaturally will work against you and not for you. So men, let us start with your underwear.
Getting the right pair of underpants in your armoury not only means you feel better all day long, but also means your clothes will hang better too. The thing that is most important when you are buying pants is to be honest with yourself.
This is the layer that sits closest to your skin, so if your underwear doesn’t feel good or doesn’t support you enough, leave it. If the bands are digging into your thighs, you are probably wearing a size too small.
If your waistband keeps slipping underneath your trousers every time you bend over, you are either wearing a size too big or the elastic has totally gone (and it’s time to have a throw-out).
Here we break down the four major cuts for men’s underwear and the guys they look best on – as well as one option we humbly suggest you avoid altogether…
Briefs are best for men with larger thighs (and those who are more well-endowed). And there is a reason why you have seen footballers who put in the legwork like David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo wearing them in campaigns: they are the best choice for guys with bigger thighs.
Briefs are also good for shorter guys as they expose more of your legs, making them appear longer and you, therefore, taller. Just avoid those Y-fronts that sit below the belly button. No prospective date wants to be reminded of their grandpa when you strip off for the night.
Boxers are Best for maximum breathability. If you are not the kind of guys who regularly wears suit trousers or slim jeans, boxer shorts offer the greatest breathability and are far less revealing than any other style.
However, that comes at a cost: boxers offer very little support down there. While you probably first got into these in your teens, this is another style of underwear that has got a gentlemanly makeover in the past few years.
The baggy cut and bunched, elasticated waist might be the most traditional version of these pants, but plenty of designers now offer shorter, slimmer—cut options with a stretch band waist.
As a side note, if you are a man who has more substantial thighs that tend to touch together when you walk, boxers can be tricky: the low-cut of the crotch often means your jewels get caught in the crossfire, so to speak.
And if you’re wearing trousers, this can not only get sweaty, but also potentially quite sore. However, this style’s breathability means they are the best choice for sleepwear.
Boxer briefs are best for taller men (and guys with an ample posterior). As is implied in the name, boxer briefs are the lovechild of boxers and briefs: the shape of traditional boxer short, but cut on a more fitted block out of jersey material.
Arguably, this is the most versatile style of underpants out. Boxer briefs usually hit from the mid- to low-thigh, often with a button fly. Where boxer-briefs really come into their own is for guys who have more to store back there.
Men with larger behinds, will often find that briefs don’t provide enough coverage, and in order to get boxers that fit over the thigh-and-bum area, the waistband will end up being too loose. With close-fitting fabric that stretches over your legs, boxer-briefs offer the perfect halfway house.
Trunks/hipsters are best for slimmer men or gym-honed guys. Trunks are a shorter version of the boxer-brief that has grown in popularity with the rise of super-skinny trouser styles over the past five years or so.
When it comes to length, these tend to sit from the mid-to upper-thigh. Some may come with a keyhole fly, but usually this style is flat-fronted – and sometimes includes an extra pouch of fabric at the front for added support and… enhancement.
As this style fits more flush to the skin than boxer-briefs, often with a higher proportion of stretch within the fabric, this style is best worn by guys who are slimmer of thigh — anyone with larger thighs might find that the pant legs will ride up when you walk.
Another advantage for guys with slimmer legs is that their tight fit means trunks will not leave a bunch of excess fabric around your thighs, thus making them appear thinner than they are.
Well, I hope this helps guys, unfortunately we have run out of space, but next week we will discuss the appropriate trousers for the right body shape for men.
Until next week, God bless!
Fashion Diva can be messaged (not called) on 0772 933 845.
