COMPETING WITH A DEAD WOMAN!

02 Dec, 2016 - 00:12 0 Views
COMPETING WITH A DEAD WOMAN! tete babra

The ManicaPost

Dear Tete Barbara
I got married to a man I met in church after he was widowed. The reason I agreed to marry him was because he is responsible and decent.

I have a respectable job and together we earn an income that assures us a comfortable lifestyle.  After marriage, we had two children together.

I had none of my own but still I can clearly see that he loves the children he had with his late wife more than the two we had together.

Please understand me right, I do not want him to love mine more but I want him to love them equally.  I have tried to ignore it but I just find it irritating me the more especially now that his oldest daughter just graduated from University.

He just talks about how her mother would have been proud to see the graduation and how she has always made him proud. How long should I keep competing with a dead woman?

Tete Barbara  Responds
Relationships are complicated enough without children and with children.  Well, you already know the answer.
You and your partner need to talk openly about your feelings and whatever is going on. There is a possibility that you are reading into nothing and probably feeling a little jealous of your husband’s relationship and affection for his older children.
Always remember they are all his children and that you are his wife and their mother. He married you to become part of his life and that is both an important and delicate position.
You are expected by society to forget that the older children are not biologically yours but that’s a reality you cannot escape.
Having said that, love is the magic you need to dissolve the gap between many. You have not mentioned the nature of your relationship with the older children.
It is important to remember that they were a family before you joined them and that they have traditions and memories that do not involve you.
Do not challenge that instead, spend more time doing activities together, travel and create memories that you can cherish in future. One more thing, do not compete with his late wife, it is not necessary. Just be happy darling.

Let love lead.

 

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