Caught in between

23 Dec, 2016 - 00:12 0 Views
Caught in between

The ManicaPost

Marriage Doctor —
TODAY folks, I will touch on some things that many have been asking me about. If I do not finish, I will continue next week or so until the New Year.

The first question asked is what are my thoughts are about women having two husbands or being in a relationship with two different men?

If I was not a counsellor and someone with high Christian values, I would have said: “If men can do it, why can’t women?” As a counsellor I would say: “As unbecoming and unacceptable as it is in society, women are now fed-up of being abused and misused and trampled on; so they are fighting back.” As a Christian, I would say: “Not acceptable in any form and there is no reason for this, whether you are male or female and in God’s eyes it is not acceptable or recognisable.”

Now having said all that and having studied psychology, my belief is that when a woman has two men, it is because she is getting different things from each man that she feels are important to her.

Maybe the intimacy is good with the one, but he has no money, and maybe the intimacy is bad with the other, but he has plenty money. In other words, women have needs too, just like men (physical, monetary, spiritual, mental and emotional).

In the past, women would settle with a man even if he met only two of those. But as life has changed and external influences have crept in. Women no longer accept less, they want more.

So if her man is failing in major areas according to her, they will find another man to fill this need. I wrote about this before where I stated that men think they have mastered the game of cheating, but in fact women have now learnt to play the cheating game, and believe me they are doing it well. While their men are out there playing games, their wives /girlfriends are also somewhere else playing games.

So what am I saying…Well, I must make it clear, it is wrong in all forms because I believe in one man for one woman and vice-versa.

I also believe that before entering into another relationship, one has to end the other completely. However men, women are no longer taking your nonsense, so beware.

The second question is what could have happened if a wife suddenly stops complaining and seems to be making her private plans like buying land, hiding her money and being secretive?

Hehehehe ….I am sorry for laughing, but I remember writing about this again not too long ago. I remember saying to a particular gentleman who was complaining that his wife talks too much and is always shouting.

At the time I said a wife who is still talking means there is still some form of feelings within her for her man. Once a woman stops shouting or complaining and just agrees with everything or no longer comment, it means she has separated herself from you in her heart and mind and soul which means she no longer cares.

That is a bad place for a couple to be. If the man has moved on there is always hope to bring him back. But when a woman closes her heart off to her man, she can live with him forever and not be present in her heart or mind.

Unlike men, a woman does not necessarily go off and have an affair if she no longer loves her man (especially if she is older). She may simply start living her life behind his back or in his face, depending on how cold hearted she has become.

So seriously now it is not funny I know that men cannot handle a cold hearted woman as well as a woman can handle a cold hearted man.

Women are long suffering species. They will take a lot of pain over and over again before they say ‘zvakwana!’ So before you start asking what is happening as a man, you need to ask yourself what you have been doing over the years to hurt her to the point where she no longer has you as a priority and has decided you are as good as absent in her life? What sort of harm or pain did you cause her emotionally or physically that she finally closed you off? That is where you need to start because trying to figure what she is up too will not help. Women are cunning, so by the time you find out she has bought land somewhere or she is making more money than she declares, or that she is spending more time away from home than you think, believe me it is worse than you think.

A woman can make plans and put them into place without her husband ever knowing. If you think I am lying, just look at how the house is run, you do not know where half the things are, she is in control of everything, even if there is a domestic worker.

You always know less than she does right? So imagine what she can plan behind your back if you make her angry beyond forgiveness.

The worst though is when she is nice to you in your face and does everything right, yet you know she has other things she is doing outside the home. I tell you men, I always say this: “Your family is a reflection of what you have planted in them.”

Women die to themselves when they get married. Even women who constantly want money for this or that, it is usually to do things to make you happy.

So when she stops asking, stops trying etc., it is because your reaction to her in the past has been negative and so she has become that which you have put in her. Sorry, but that is the truth.

On the other hand though, you might have married a woman who just wanted you to help her make it in life. I will discuss that another time.

Well, I only had time for two thoughts this week, but look out for my other thoughts in the coming weeks. That is it from me this week folks, until next week God Bless!

The Marriage Doctor can messaged / whatsapped on 0733 285 730.

Share This:

Sponsored Links

We value your opinion! Take a moment to complete our survey

This will close in 20 seconds